Does updating your LinkedIn profile make you want to hide? Would you rather go to the dentist than dial in to keep your info current, because of all the limiting beliefs this triggers in you - even though you're a high performer? Do you cringe when you have to deal with it, and jump in - and out - as quickly as possible (or never)?
If you said yes to any of those, you need a little LinkedAlchemy.
In this post, we'll go over three typical patterns that cause avoidance, a few origins so you can get context on where these come from, and three easy ways to change.
Typical Patterns
You may be wondering why this matters, but the truth is -- if you're feeling this way in your LinkedIn mental game, this mindset is probably blocking you in other areas of your professional life as well. See if you fall into any of the common patterns below.
The Shame Game. The minute you open your profile, you feel ashamed -- even if you're a talented high performer who everyone else calls impressive. The shame you feel can be a mix of anything. Impostor syndrome, even though your talents show demonstrable results. Hating your photo or thinking it looks ugly compared to others, who seem to smile at you out of those little headshots with effortless ease. Reading down your list of experience and feeling it's "nothing" compared to the "awesome" profiles of others.
The Perfection Paralyzer. You've bought so hard into the idea that "you only get one chance to make a first impression" that it completely paralyzes you from taking any action at all. What if your headline isn't just right? What if your summary isn't the perfect, attractive expression of who you are and what you do? Why does anything you try to write to describe your story, your talent superpowers, and what you offer, immediately look stupid to you? You're so concerned with making it all perfect, that in the end, you never work on it at all.
The Too Big For Your Britches Syndrome. This subset of the Shame Game specifically keeps you from owning your skills and your inner power. It can come from a childhood of being punished for achievement -- as in, "Who do you think you are? Showing up the family? You're too big for your britches, that's what you are." It can come from academic bullying, if you were the smart kid who was picked on when you showed your smarts in class. It can come from growing up in a family regime of narcissistic manipulation, in which even your best and most brilliant efforts were invalidated as being "nothing". This syndrome can have you worrying that if you post your real talents and skills, others will just feel you're a big-headed know-it-all.
Where do these come from?
All these patterns come from a wounding that was meant to keep you small, helpless, off balance, and unable to claim your skills and power. This wounding may have come from early family, friends, school bullying, and other experiences that disconnected your ability to feel truly engaged with your value and your talents in presenting yourself to others and the world. Any attempt to claim your true skills was diverted to feel like intellectual arrogance, "bad", "wrong", or "rocking the boat" among other "more powerful" individuals (for whom it was perfectly OK to claim all THEIR skills!). These beliefs are merely myths that were fed to you about how safe, desirable, or valid it was to represent your amazing talents to others.
The problem is, these old survival beliefs now significantly hold you back in presenting your professional value. You need to be able to wisely, effectively share what you excel at, who you are, and what you do.
It's important to note that the emotions you feel aren't connected at all with the true value of your talents.
It's important to note that the emotions you feel aren't connected at all with the true value of your talents. They are shame patterns that are hanging out as limiting beliefs in your psyche. That's why it is so important to clear these blockages - in dealing with LinkedIn, and elsewhere, such as presenting yourself confidently at events or when networking.
Three easy ways to liberate yourself from these limits
The good news is -- you can break free! Here are four easy ways to liberate yourself with a little LinkedAlchemy. Wait, what's LinkedAlchemy? It's applying the principles of transformation to change yourself and your reactions, to get past the barriers in working with LinkedIn and professionally present as the high-performer you are.
Here you go:
Dial in to LinkedIn daily. Desensitize your reaction by popping in daily to your LinkedIn profile. You don't even have to make any changes at first. Just visit it for a few minutes. The more you visit it, the more you'll be inspired to play, explore, and enjoy your profile updates. Tie this to a daily habit, like your morning coffee. Once you feel on top of this, you can switch down to a weekly check-in if you like.
Be your own best mentor. Understand your bias and work with it. You are more critical of yourself than others are of you, and these old woundings don't help. Frame yourself as your own best mentor, evaluating your profile - what would you as mentor, tell yourself about it? Be honest, supportive, and truly focused on finding ways to reflect your professional gifts with others. Be the supportive voice you need and have longed for - the one that gets comfortable you owning your skills, AND getting past those old wounds. Meet with your "mentor" daily and review your profile. Keep notes on what you learn.
Don't be perfect. Do be authentic. Avoid the Perfection Paralyzer. If you're so caught up in the idea of being perfect for fear of not making that "perfect first impression", you'll destroy every effort you attempt to use to update your profile by over-editing or even, getting so wrapped up in perfection that you don't update it at all. Perfection is an attempt to be the ultimate people-pleaser. Realize that there is no objective standard of "perfect". Instead, be authentic. What truly motivates you professionally? What problems do you love to solve, what results do you love to create?
And a bonus action point....
Focus on Sharing and Service. Realize that your smallness serves no one. Your high-performing talents and vision aren't ridiculous boasts meant to trample others; they are valuable gifts, highly needed for the business solutions they offer. Who can you serve, and what critical solutions do you provide that no one else can?
Stop hiding your brilliance. If LinkedIn makes you want to hide, begin to ask why. Grow beyond the habitual shame behaviors and mindsets that limit you from exploring and leveraging this connective tool.
The more you learn to package your expertise on this platform, the more you also know how to own your value and share it in other career venues to present as your best professional self -- the one who really enjoys creating, connecting, and collaborating.
Keep Growing,
Katherine Lieber coaches and trains on self-leadership, limitlessness, energy health, inner power, and healing the wounded professional to recover core vision, joy, and high-powered performance in the workplace. She is the founder of TitaniumBlue Leadership. Be limitless - be the hero in a world that needs you.
© 2019 Katherine R. Lieber & TitaniumBlue Leadership
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