There’s nothing worse than a work or life situation in which you know it’s wrong, all your alarm bells are going off. And yet, your have-to’s and beliefs in old limitations, or someone else’s culturescape rules of your chances of success or change, are all contriving to hold you back like gluey, sticky adhesive, even though you ache for change… yearn for change… crave to express who you really are, to both give and receive from an authentic place... KNOW you are far more than what you are in this situation.
In such a case, you have sold your authenticity to buy security, or due to beliefs someone else gave you about your own limitations, or some other authority’s low ideas about your chances. You’re living in limitation, and you don’t have to. The key here is that you are the only one who can get you out - or maybe circumstance, if you want to wait around hoping luck will strike.
It’s YOUR authenticity. Take it back, because your authenticity is a key catalyst to limitlessness.
Limitlessness springs from expressing who you truly are -- all the real value you bring to the table, that can only come from the special blend of who you are and your unique set of experiences and skills. But to get there, sometimes you need to heal all the wounds of where you've sold out on your authenticity.
Begin to explore all the places were you sell out your authenticity, and what you sell it for. Don’t judge, just observe. Take a piece of paper and complete these sentences:
I really need ___________, but instead I _____________, because __________.
I desperately want ___________, but instead I _____________ because ___________.
I really want to do ______________, but instead I _____________, because ___________.
“But” and “have to” are key phrases revealing where you’re giving away your authenticity for someone else’s belief. What did you come up with? What does it reveal about where you’re giving in to others’ limitations? Are some of these causing soul-aches that just won't go away?
I can hear some of your objections. “But I have to work late. My company culture expects it, and I’ll probably get fired if I’m not seen as a team player.” “But I have to go to that event, my significant other will guilt me about it forever if I don’t.” “I really want to change my career, but everyone says it’s so impossible so why even try.” OK - maybe those are the situation right now, but for so many people the idea ends there, with them merely living the circumstance as if it were not changeable. Or they really daisy-chain it, “But I have to, because… but then if changed that, this other bad thing would happen… but then if I corrected that this OTHER bad thing would happen…” - until they work themselves into complete immobility.
You don't have to do that. The longer you let these situations sit around and be your reality and erode your true, authentic needs and contribution possibilities, the more you reinforce to yourself that you are powerless to change them. When you begin to change, you connect with the true fire of your value and your authentic self.
When you begin to change, you connect with the true fire of your value and your authentic self.
Begin to make the smallest changes. Take your paper and add on to the previous sentences the things you can do to be, do, or receive what you really want and need to thrive in life and work:
I really need ___________ but instead _____________ because __________. → Instead of that, I’m going to start to __________ because ___________.
I desperately want ___________ but instead _____________ because ___________. → Instead of giving in to that, I’m going to make sure I get enough __________ because _________.
I really want to do ______________ but instead _____________ because ___________. → Instead of that, I’m going to start ________ because ________.
Look at the commonalities of your action choices. How can you upgrade your skills to achieve these? Do they reflect stronger belief in your ability to negotiate? Better boundaries, such that you aren’t letting others overburden you or load you up with distracting projects? New ways of interacting with your colleagues so they know you’re a team player without staying late? Changes to your goal direction or vision? New strategies of communication to make sure your unique value is known and appreciated? New contributions you could authentically offer as an exchange for the change to what's not working right now? New venues for your skills, like a new job or position?
Your authenticity is one of your most valuable resources in both life and work. What you bring to the table, no one else can. It is a key ingredient to your limitlessness. When you let it get dimmed by an over-layer of obedience to everyone else’s beliefs, limits and ideas of “how things work” (which may or may not be correct), it can’t shine, and you feel powerless… and limited. When you keep it uppermost, you can begin to tune into that energy of limitlessness in creating, collaborating, and going farther.
Where are you selling out your authenticity for someone else’s limitation? How will you make the first small course correction on that today?
Keep Growing,
Katherine Lieber coaches and trains on self-leadership, limitlessness, energy health, inner power, and healing the wounded professional to recover core vision, joy, and high-powered performance in the workplace. She is the founder of TitaniumBlue Leadership. Be limitless - be the hero in a world that needs you.
© 2019 Katherine R. Lieber & TitaniumBlue Leadership
The internet is limitless, and so is its capacity for sharing! Please share this post using the links below.
